Taking Time for Family
By Margaret Stegner
Happy April! I’m not sure what happened to March, but I seem to have missed my deadline! We’ve all been there. One minute you’ve got everything under control, and the next you realize you don’t! While many things can be quite inconvenient to lose track of, thankfully most won’t cause any lasting ill effects. Thank goodness I have a great boss, and she’s only docking my pay a little for being late!
Seriously, though, being too busy can lead to exhaustion - mental and physical. Even being overloaded with things you love and want to do can cause burnout. Once you reach this state, everything is a burden. Ugh, you don’t even have time for the simplest tasks like brushing your teeth! Fortunately, there are ways to reduce your stress, and get back on track so you can enjoy your life. The internet is filled with articles aimed at helping and, of course, you can always seek help from a trained professional.
This is what works for me. First and foremost, I take time to breathe. It sounds silly. We all breathe because we can’t live without doing it. What I mean is I take slow, deep, purposeful breaths to give my brain an extra boost - in through the nose to the count of five, hold two seconds, and then fully exhale through the nose. On the exhale I can actually feel my body relax. I do this morning and night, plus anytime during the day when I start to feel stressed. I also make a list of everything I think I need to accomplish for the day, and prioritize each task – must do, should do, want to do, and if I have time to do. Remember to include things like exercise and relaxation, even if for only 10 minutes each day. Most importantly, I include an activity to allow time for me to enjoy my family! Of course, lists aren’t foolproof. I did still miss my March deadline, but a list helps me reduce those types of incidents. CAUTION: Lists must be flexible! Things come up causing priorities to change, or you simply might decide to make adjustments.
Finding time to enjoy your family every day might seem difficult. You may feel like you are too busy, but you will never be sorry that you took time to enjoy those you love. A wise person once told me, “If you are too busy to do something, you are saying that other things are of greater priority.” That really hit home for me. Every day I need to show my family they are a top priority. I’ve used the word family, but your family members are those around you who you consider your family. It could be by birth, or deep abiding friendship. It might even include five non-humans like ours!
You know, as I look back, I have very few regrets, but I do wish I had more photographs taken of my entire family. I have lots of pictures of my children - together and separate - but I don’t have enough photos of us all together. I can’t change the past, but I can remember to celebrate making my family a priority by making sure to capture at least one family photo every time we are all together. …and since we now have a photographer in the family, it might just happen!
Alyssa, owner and photographer of Dream Shots Media, LLC, had this to say when I asked her about family portraits.
Q. What is it about taking family portraits that you like the most?
A. Wow, that is really difficult to answer. Families are so diverse. They come in all shapes and sizes, and different backgrounds. I guess I like working with the uniqueness of each family, and how they interact with each other.
Q. Do you have concerns about working with children?
A: No! I love working with kids! When working with children, especially young ones, it is important for everyone involved to have realistic expectations. That includes the parents and the photographer. Remaining flexible is key. If one approach doesn’t seem to be working, I switch to another. Sometimes acting silly works, but other times being calm and quiet works. I take my cues from the kids and go from there.
Q. What about the parents?
A. Oh, I like working with them too.
Q. Funny! I mean is there anything they can do to make things run more smoothly?
A. Yes! The most important thing the parents can do is relax. Kids feel the anxiety in their parents and react to it, which usually isn’t a good situation.
Q. Are there other things they can do?
A. Certainly. First, know what your kids can tolerate, and let your photographer know. For example, when I was little, Mom always told the photographer not to have me hug my little sister. That would always end up with someone in tears.
Other tips include: Don’t plan activities too closely before or after the photo shoot. Having pictures taken is hard work.
Make sure the kids aren’t hungry. Bring non-messy snacks and drinks. Hungry children aren’t happy, or cooperative.
Schedule around naptime. Sleepy kids are not usually fun for anyone.
Put your children, and yourself, in comfortable clothing that you think looks nice. It is hard to smile when your clothes are stiff, or something is poking you.
Don’t expect perfection. Some of the best pictures are taken when the family is playing and interacting with each other.
Lastly, set your children up for success. Before the photo shoot, talk about the event. Tell them what to expect. Give them enough information to make them feel comfortable, but not overwhelmed. Don’t forget to talk about the photographer, and what she will be doing. Most of all, emphasize that it will be fun, and then remember to have fun at the session!
Q. How do you like to approach family sessions?
A. I always look at a photo session as a collaboration with my client. We talk about the session, and their expectations for poses, etc. I am happy to do traditional poses, but I’ll also look for opportunities that show your family interacting with each other. This happens as the family members move to get into place, or during a break in the action. I keep my camera handy and am ready to capture those unplanned moments that are a window into the story of your family.
Everyone’s got a dream and it’s my dream to capture your memories!
Contact Alyssa for more information on booking a session:
